What You Really Need Part 1: The Bare Neccessities

Okay, so I decided to make this post for those mommies to be in my life who are completely overwhelmed with the number of baby products on the market. Yes, I know, you're going to buy what you want to buy! I get it. I totally overbought because I wanted Miss Iz to have anything she could possibly ever need. But, if you want a no nonsense guide to the essentials, than please peruse these posts. =)

Okay, okay, I super stocked up...

Diapers + Wipes

This is pretty obvious. Whether you chose the cloth or disposable variety, you probably want some of these bad boys in your life. My only real advice here is if you're going disposable and you want to prepurchase (I did, we were going down to one income so I bought a pack or two every other week) then make sure you purchase from a place that will let you exchange them. (I carried 7 packs of size ones into Target to exchange... oops!)

My personal suggestion is to get the big 300+ diaper box (I procure mine from Costco.) I would get 1 box of size ones, 2 boxes of size twos, 3 boxes of size threes, and 4 boxes of size fours. You may need a few extras in there, but knowing what I know now, this is what I intend to do for baby #2. (Note: I also don't anticipate having a baby smaller than 9 lbs. So 1 box of size ones may not cut it for you, but you'll probably be getting a bunch at your baby shower anyway!)

While I think cloth diapers are lovely for those who chose to use them, I unfortunately have no advice in that arena.

As far as wipes go: some people make their own... I personally purchase them in the largest quantity available. You will never run out of these. In fact, I wish I had purchased more of them before she was born than I did. Stupidly I futzed around with those little three packs they have at the grocery store (you can see them in the picture above!) Skip that nonsense and get the most outrageously huge box you can find. Please. You won't regret it!

Okay, I had to buy some girlie stuff!

An Assortment of Onesies

Now, I recommend an assortment because you might not know which ones you like best until that little baby butt is firmly snuggled into them. I personally didn't care at all for the traditional three snap bottom variety until she was bigger and in 6 months clothes. The footsied zip-up ones were definitely the way to go for me. (Personally, I adore Carter's. They are super consistent and fit amazingly well. Her wardrobe is definitely 90% or more Carter's.)

Mohawk hair! =)

A Baby Bathtub

Okay, I'm a little more hesitant to say you need this. If you plan on co-bathing or have a sink you trust, you probably don't need this. I don't think you'd regret this purchase, though. I found it made bath time way more manageable than any other alternative so in my mind, you need this. I had the simple Fisher Price "Whale of a Tub" variety and we both loved it.

Bundled up in some light blankies. =)

Blankies

Honestly, you will probably get a million and a half of these, but more than likely they will mostly suck. I'm sorry, but the truth can sometimes hurt. I would pick up at least one pack of large muslin receiving blankets. (I personally adored Aden + Anais.) I still use these to this day. They are light, swaddle well, and wash wonderfully.

Probably the only time you'll see her full name on this blog! =P

A Place to Lay Baby Down

Whether you chose to bed share or not, it is nice to have at least a pack and play to lay baby down in because unless you have the patience of a saint, you will need to lay your baby down somewhere for at least five minutes one in a while. I personally chose to crib sleep after the first month to save my sanity and we got into a great routine very easily. Cribs don't have to be expensive! I got this lovely one off of Amazon for $150.

Snoozing in the car. =)

Carseat

At least in the US, you can't leave the hospital without one, so go ahead and get one early. You don't have to worry too much about which ones you chose, but go ahead and read the reviews and pick one you feel comfortable with and that fits your car. Just so you know, car seats do have expiration dates! And you should avoid buying them second hand because if the seat has ever been in an accident it has to be replaced and the seller might not be upfront with you about it's condition.

Personally we bought one of the snap-in seats for my husband's car and a convertible rear to forward facing for my car. So we had the best of both worlds. =)

Nursing Bra

This is obvious, if you intend to nurse. But I thought I'd throw it in anyway. (Sorry, no picture of me in one haha!) I purchased my nursing bras when I had to buy a bigger size due to all those lovely body changes pregnancy puts you through.

And that's really it! Those are all the things you absolutely need before bringing a baby home. It's really not such a daunting list. If you start with these, then you can expand out from there. Look for the next part in the series next Monday, What You Really Need Part 2: The Things You Probably Want.

A Promise to my Daughter

(And any future daughter-in-laws or stepdaughters I may have.)

One day of course I imagine I’m going to have the opportunity to be a grandparent. But I’m not going to harass you about it. If you don’t want kids, okay, for a long time I didn’t. If you struggle to conceive, okay, I did too. If you adopt, okay, I would love to adopt one day. I will support you whatever you decide.

But that’s neither here nor there. Most importantly, no matter how excited I am, I will let you dictate the terms of my involvement. If you don’t want me at the hospital for l&d, that’s okay, I’ll suck it up and stay away. If (god forbid) you want me in there with you, I’ll suck it up and stay by your side. If you need me to plan a shower, buy a car seat, lend a shoulder to cry on, fly in from out of town, bring you dinner for a month, or just support your medication decisions, I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Even if that means doing nothing and giving you your space.

Pregnancy is messy. It’s hard. It’s disgusting. It rips away your self confidence and fills your heart with wonder. The things I wanted and needed during my pregnancy may not be the things you need. I can offer advice but I can’t tell you what you want. That, you have to tell me. And I promise to listen, no matter what you may think I want, because the thing I want most is for you to be happy.

Babies are Selfish

The title about says it all: babies are selfish.

It isn't that they want to be selfish little time-consuming black holes, it is simply the nature of the beast. They're trying to figure out everything about the world. They can't do a single thing for themselves and everything they do figure out confuses them. They need so much help.

That said, being a stay at home mom is the hands down hardest thing I've ever done. Like all humans, deep down I am still a selfish baby too. My wants and needs are confusing and I need someone to help me too sometimes.

I had these grandiose ideas of what being a stay at home mom looked like: a baby snoozing comfortably nearby while I banged out a novel, a sparkling clean house where you could eat off the floor, baby and I snuggled up together napping peacefully on the couch, a smiling and cooing fount of wonder gently playing with her toys, and so on and so forth.

The reality is a lonely, exhausting, spit-stained existence of trying desperately to heat up something to eat before she realizes you're out of the room and starts screaming. This after a long debate about whether or not you should ignore the hunger pains and just take a nap while you can but you then remind yourself for the hundredth time that you're breastfeeding and if you don't eat neither can your baby.

Working mom's are lucky in that they don't have to deal with 24 hours of this drudgery. They can get out of the house, socialize with people, make a contribution somewhere...

The most socialization I'm guaranteed at least once during the week is a grocery store packed with old people. And I have to rush through, desperately trying to get out in under an hour. Even if I do go to lunch with a friend, my topics of tantalizing conversation have dropped to about one - the shit my husband's doing at work.

But even though I won't be able to put it on my LinkedIn profile, I hope one day I'll be able to say I made a contribution too, if only towards the growth and development of one individual.

So every day I remind myself to stick it out. To put my selfishness aside and focus on her. For the little smiles she doles out, the times she coos at me softly, and when she stares into my eyes and I tell her that her momma will always be there for her.

For the benefit of this one little person.

Nap time!

I have managed to get Miss Iz on a sleep schedule: She gets a bath between 8:30-9:30, feed, a little story, and then she goes to bed and wakes up between 6:30-7:30. Awesome, right? Especially for a two month old!

I have managed to get her on a feeding schedule: She eats approximately every 3 hours, sometimes she goes a little longer, sometimes a little shorter. I am a big believer in feeding on demand, this loose schedule was more for my sanity than anything. The constant feeding was driving me crazy and there were many a time I wanted to give up on breastfeeding altogether. This schedule gave me some structure and predictability to my day, as well as the ability to determine when she was really hungry and not just fussy.

But one thing I have not managed to do is get her on a nap schedule!

Sometimes she wakes up in the morning and talks and "plays" with me for hours. Sometimes she immediately wants to go back to sleep. I can't predict it and I can't figure out how to plan around it. Therefore, I've just been letting her nap at her leisure. But of course, sometimes she gets overwhelmed and exhausted. =(

At first I was just going to put her down after her second feeding, at nine, and then again at three. But since she's been going back to sleep after the first feeding, that kind of threw that plan out the window. =)

Today she had two naps, but at completely arbitrary times. Tomorrow I'll try again for a schedule. But maybe I'll just let Princess Iz sleep whenever she wants and run errands after she wakes up. =P