9 months

Woohoo! We made it to nine months!

This little goober was 23 lbs and 3 ozs at her doctor's appointment. The doctor walked in and said, "well, I guess you're feeding her then!" =P She is still gaining about half a pound a month which would put her in 18 month clothes in about February...!

 

We had a rather productive month as well!

She is really fast on the army crawl and finally trying to stand (albeit a bit unsuccessfully.) But she will stand if she's holding on to something so I have hope that she might walk before two haha! She has clapped a few times but doesn't much care for it and she's also waved at me in context though only a few times, not with any consistency. She will also say "momma" to me which is awesome! But usually only when she really wants something -- but that's okay. ;-)

 

She is basically eating everything we eat, although she still gets 2-3 bottles a day. (Her EIGHT teeth help with that!!) Unfortunately her naps have changed a lot. Sometimes she takes a little hour nap in the morning after playing for a couple hours and while she still takes her long afternoon nap, it's more like two hours rather than three. At least she'll generally sleep until 7:30 am (even though I'd prefer 10.... haha!) But she's been going to sleep around 8:30 pm so we get a little more "us" time at night now, which is nice.

She's getting more and more bored of her toys so I try to go out every day with her, which is difficult in this rainy weather. (I'm thinking of joining some mommy groups... but anti-social me makes that a bit difficult.) But on the flip side she also gets a lot more gratification from external sources. It is so cute to me how she laughs so hard at the cats running around the house. =) She is definitely one happy, content baby!

The Last Three Months

Wow! A lot has happened in the last three months! I can't believe how far behind I've gotten. I guess that's what the holidays do to you. =P I've decided to rework this blog and try to post two or three times a week - likely Monday, Wednesday, and Friday - so that I don't overwhelm myself and still have interesting things to talk about. =)

Iz is really growing up so much! I can hardly believe it. She seems like a totally different person than she was three months ago. So in the spirit of updating, I'm going to post some shots of her from the last three months.

A dress my mother in law got from Dollywood for her official 6 month shots.

The most adorable little elephant that there ever was for Halloween. <3

Her official 7 month photos - I adore her expression!

Enjoying turkey on Thanksgiving!

My little Christmas elf.

 

She was having a great time!

5 months!

She is starting to look so much more like me as a baby. =P

I'm not precisely sure why I'm posting this because in another week or two I'm going to be posting a six month update... but here goes! ;-)

Honestly, we didn't make many big developmental milestones this month. Miss Iz did laugh for the first time, though! Which made me super duper happy. =) There were only a few little giggles there toward the end of the month, but it was definitely a sign of things to come. :D

She was also getting more and more steady sitting up (although she still can't sit up on her own) and her hand-eye coordination was getting better every day.

Towards the end of the month I had to switch to half and half breast feeding and formula feeding, which was a little bit of a blow to my self confidence, but she made the switch really easily.

Aaaand that's about all I got. But the next month she made all kinds of strides I can't wait to tell you about. ;-) 

Behind again...!

"Seriously mom? What else have you got to do?"

Wow! So of course, I got behind again! =(

I have a 5 month update to do (once I get those pictures on the computer, ha) but we've been a bit busy around these parts. Some of what's happened since I've been gone:

- We visited Ohio for a week and saw as much of my husband's family as possible. (Stay tuned for a full update and some adorable pics!)

- I got up to my full dose of Synthroid since my thyroid debacle at the beginning of August and I feel MUCH better! I'm about 100% I'd say. Still don't feel like working out though... ;-)

- I've started getting things together for my Etsy shop. Yay! :D I am desperate to make some extra cash since it's become extremely obvious to me that my husband and I have different money priorities and nothing will ever get purchased for the house if I'm not doing it.

- Miss Iz has started eating purees and wearing 9 month clothes. =') I cannot wait for her appointment in October so we can see how big she's gotten! I expect a hefty increase since I didn't realize she wasn't getting enough breastmilk at the time of her last appointment.

- On that note, we officially have stopped breastfeeding completely as of yesterday. =( I almost made it to six months. I feel like I did as well as I could considering the circumstances but it is somewhat depressing to know I had just a great routine only to have it completely undermined by my thyroid. I could've worked to re-lactate, it's true, but I was too disappointed and crushed to be in the right mindset about it.

I think that's the major things. I hope to get her five month update out tomorrow... =P

Happiness

Poor quality camera phone photos. ;-)

I didn't really think I would enjoy being a stay at home mom. My sense of self has been tightly interwoven with having a job and doing well ever since I landed my first one at 15. (I think my total time unemployed in the last ten years might equal six months, which could easily be made up by the times I had more than one job.) In fact, I frequently joke to people about how mind-numbingly boring being a stay at home mom is. But I'll let you in on a secret: that's not even remotely true.

Okay, I did have a difficult time adjusting at first. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it exactly, it was more than Miss Iz wasn't on a schedule of any sort so every day could be completely different and that was stressful to me. I couldn't really plan to do any particular thing because the whole thing might come crashing down on me in one ill-timed meltdown. But now that I know her, her moods, how frequently she needs to eat, when she might need to nap, and so on, I have a lot more freedom, and I honestly really like staying at home.

It helps that my husband doesn't have any particular expectation of how well-kept the house should be. Therefore, the fact that I rarely get to chores doesn't bother him and he still helps out around the house. I don't feel that responsibility crushing me and that is where I think a lot of dissatisfaction starts with stay at home moms - the inability to have their house in a constant state of perfection. (Honestly I guess I'm used to living in a constant state of imperfection. I really do need to start getting some of my house projects done during her naps, but they're still not exactly predictable enough for me to pull out a paint can and get cracking.)

I really just love being there for her. I know she couldn't possibly get as much attention in a day care as she does from me (although I still try to give her plenty of autonomous time because I think that's healthy for babies.) I love giving her a million kisses during the day, tickling her, making her break out into a huge grin, helping her roll over, helping her fall asleep by snuggling up close to her... I love that I get to see every little change in her development. I love that she knows that I am there for her no matter what - mommy will come to get her.

Obviously I sometimes get lonely and bored. But really, that's becoming more and more rare. I often run errands with her during the day when all the old people who want to have conversations about babies are out and about. ;-) And I've been actively trying to cultivate relationships with a few other moms I know in the area. (Hey, these are big steps for me, I'm actually rather anti-social!)

I just honestly cannot be more thankful that my husband has a great job to support us, that he trusts me enough in my parenting decisions to let me stay home with her, and that I actually gave this whole stay at home mom thing a shot. It's definitely not for everyone, but at this moment, it is definitely for me.

Four months!

Wow, this post is WAY overdue, but I definitely think this is my favorite baby age so far. Despite a few hiccups in her sleep and overall happiness which I attribute to my thyroid issues, this is such a cool month because she has started to really recognize the world around her.

She grabs for things she wants now and can easily flip from tummy to back. She's found her toes and just inserts as many as she can straight into her mouth. She squeals when she's happy and is super close to laughing. She has really started interacting with my husband and has a markedly different relationship with him than she does with me. Her grins are absolutely infectious and she shares them more easily than ever. Her bottom two teeth have broken through and she's showing more interest in food every day. She can almost sit up unassisted but she gets tired easily and wobbles a lot still.

And she's definitely a little ham. She knows when you're talking about her and wants you to constantly be talking to her. I try hard to get her to play alone a bit so she doesn't become too dependent on external entertainment but hey, it's difficult when she's your biggest source of entertainment too!

At her doctor's appointment this month she measured in at 25.5 inches and 13.11 pounds. She is definitely a little string bean. =) I can't believe how long she is, though. It makes baby wearing rather difficult.

It seems really strange to me that I have a four month old daughter. The pains of pregnancy are a distant memory and with the exception of my postpartum health issues (and the stretch marks, unfortunately), I almost can't believe my life was ever any other way. It simultaneously feels altogether different and completely the same. I thought I would have such a difficult time adjusting but being a stay at home mom comes so naturally to me and we were already more inclined to stay in than to party that it hardly feels like much has changed. Except that we have a little person to feed and bathe and love. I definitely feel like my life is whole now (even with my sometimes overwhelming desire for baby #2.)

Nostalgia

Now that my little girly is officially getting teeth I have been all tore up about her getting bigger. Clearly I am too sensitive to be a mom. ;-) But it's had me thinking about her birth and some little things which amused me that I hope to never forget...

When the doctor asked me "are you ready to have a baby?" as her introduction to the announcement that they were going to schedule my induction, I almost said "no!" Instead I just stared at her dumbfounded like, you want me to what? I guess I was so wrapped up in the pregnancy and my health complications and preparing for the baby that I just never spent any time thinking about actually, well, HAVING a baby. I don't know what I was expecting to happen at the end of those nine months, but suddenly I wasn't sure I would be able to raise a child. The implications were enormous.

All these people say "oh, I just can't wait to meet you and start learning all about you." I literally don't think I thought that once throughout my entire pregnancy. Though I think this will be all that occupies my mind if I'm lucky enough to have a second go at it. It will be so different knowing what to expect.

Also, I will never forget my husband's Facebook post as soon as she was born. It said, in all caps, "I'm a father!" Maybe it's just because I know my husband so intimately but there was something so poignant and sincere to me about that simple statement. Father has such a deep implication, far more deep than what being a dad does. Fathering is the act of being there, nurturing and fostering a little human. And maybe it has nothing to do with my husband at all but more to do with the fact that I have never truly considered my dad a "father," but either way I hope every day that he lives up to that simple statement.

And I remember how jealous I was that my husband was getting to see her as the nurse bathed her and checked her over and I lay there, getting poked and prodded and sewn up. It seems horribly unfair that the mother has to sit back and watch her new baby from afar. I trusted my husband to watch over the nurse's every movement, but of course I wanted to be there. It's weird how suddenly the maternal instinct takes over.

I remember being angry when my in-laws came in to see her before I even had a chance to really hold her. Of course they were excited, and with every right to be, but that was MY baby and I wanted to relax and hold her first, not field ridiculous questions from my 13 year old sister-in-law literally fifteen minutes after I had given birth as everyone else got to eye over my baby. (Next time, I will know to tell them to wait until we're moved out of labor and delivery.) I remember the overwhelming relief I felt when the nurse swiftly ushered everyone out only minutes after they got in. I don't even remember who she was or if she was even there for labor and delivery but I seriously think she should've received much more thanks than she got that day. =P

Sorry for such a rambling post, but I just had to get that out there.

A Promise to my Daughter

(And any future daughter-in-laws or stepdaughters I may have.)

One day of course I imagine I’m going to have the opportunity to be a grandparent. But I’m not going to harass you about it. If you don’t want kids, okay, for a long time I didn’t. If you struggle to conceive, okay, I did too. If you adopt, okay, I would love to adopt one day. I will support you whatever you decide.

But that’s neither here nor there. Most importantly, no matter how excited I am, I will let you dictate the terms of my involvement. If you don’t want me at the hospital for l&d, that’s okay, I’ll suck it up and stay away. If (god forbid) you want me in there with you, I’ll suck it up and stay by your side. If you need me to plan a shower, buy a car seat, lend a shoulder to cry on, fly in from out of town, bring you dinner for a month, or just support your medication decisions, I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Even if that means doing nothing and giving you your space.

Pregnancy is messy. It’s hard. It’s disgusting. It rips away your self confidence and fills your heart with wonder. The things I wanted and needed during my pregnancy may not be the things you need. I can offer advice but I can’t tell you what you want. That, you have to tell me. And I promise to listen, no matter what you may think I want, because the thing I want most is for you to be happy.

3 months!

We didn't have a doctor's appointment this month so I'm not sure of her weight or her length. I would guess she's grown at least another inch though! She seems so long to me - at least the size of some 6 month olds! (Which she must be since she fits nicely in 6 month clothes now.)

She has made great progress this month. She can sit up really well with assistance, she loves to "talk" to everyone now, she can pull toys to her mouth and chew on them, she can clasp her hands together (which is adorable!), and she has started being awake for an hour or two at a time. She hasn't rolled over yet without a little assistance I'm about 90% positive she can do it if she wanted to seeing as she rolled onto her side at four days old. I am a wee bit concerned I don't do enough tummy time but she is so strong and can hold her head up so well while sitting that I feel like I must be doing something right.

I think she is going to be a bit of a social butterfly though! She wants nothing more than to stare you in the eyes and babble for a good 15 minutes. =) Although she likes toys, especially her activity mat, she just doesn't seem as concerned to make physical leaps and bounds as she does social ones. Of course, that could change, but she's perfectly content to sit and coo at her toys for awhile before swatting at them. (And she prefers them if they have a face! Any of the plastic butterflies, hearts, or rings on her toy bar won't hold her attention for more than a second, but hang a doll or stuffed piggy with a smiley face on the same bar and suddenly she is fascinated, reaching for it and smiling.)

I'm going to try to photograph some of her favorite toys so that she can remember them too. Maybe I'm a little psycho but hey, I'm a stay at home mom, what else do I have to do? I really enjoy photography and I like to think it keeps me sharp for my (non-existent) clients. ;-P This blue elephant was her first, and still one of her most, favorite!

Oh, and my lovely husband attempted to do the impossible and take a decent picture of me by my request since Miss Iz is now three months and I have maybe five cell phone pics of us together. I'd like to think the experience gave him more sympathy and understanding towards me as a photographer, but I know he just got really frustrated haha. I know I'm going to get some professional ones done for her 1 year birthday so there will be SOME decent pictures of us together.

Neglect

I know I have been neglecting this blog hardcore but I'm in the second wave of post-baby relative visiting. We've been taking Miss Iz to my husband's hometown to visit her great-grandparents a lot recently and that has been seriously taking it out of me. I have been afraid to spend the night since I have her on such a great schedule so we've been getting up early and making the nearly two-hour drive up and then back again that evening. But I know it cheers up my in-laws to do it so I've mostly been happy to do it.

My father also came down from Pennsylvania to visit. I honestly am having a difficult time even remembering the last time I saw my father. =( It's hard since he moved about 3 hours away from all my other Pennsylvania relatives so it's difficult to visit him even when I go to Pennsylvania.

 

While my dad was here, my sister also came down from North Carolina! So Iz got to see a ton of her relatives in one long weekend. =) And I got lots of pictures, which is so important to me for her to be able to look back on.

Plus this weekend Iz, grandma, and I will be making the trek up to Pennsylvania to celebrate my grandmother's birthday. I can't even believe how many people we will be seeing while we're there! I never thought I'd see all my maternal cousins in the same place at the same time ever again since they live across the US including Michigan and Texas. I am honestly very excited!! Although I will miss my husband (and I know he will miss me and baby girl even more) and I'm nervous about driving so far with a three month old and messing up her sleep schedule, I'm still very happy to get to show her off to everything and get tons of pictures of her family "back home" that I hope she will be able to have in her life as much as possible considering the circumstances.

Hope to knock out a few more posts before I'm off though! I took her three month photos AND made some delicious chicken I need to post about. =P

2 months!

Wednesday Miss Iz had her two month doctor's appointment. She was 12 pounds, 12 ounces (dropping down to the 75th percentile) and 24 inches long (still the 95th percentile there though!) I'm honestly glad she's not 95%+ for weight anymore because I irrationally worried it was an indication of her being doomed to suffer with my health issues.

Last month she started sleeping through the night, smiling all the time, making prolonged eye contact with her smiles, "talking," reaching and grabbing for a few special toys, and holding her head up for extended periods of time. =) I am so proud of her!

I know there are things I'm going to miss about this stage of babyhood, but one thing I know I won't is the constant fear of SIDS. =( It's definitely more challenging since she sleeps in her own room. While I wouldn't change that, I can really understand now why people want to co-sleep. I try to be reasonable about it but inevitably as I'm drifting off to sleep I'll think 'wow she's been quiet for so long....' and I'll have to go check on her. It's hard to be a mommy!

I will also be happy when she's no longer on the acid reflux medicine too.

Oh! And she was such a little trooper with her shots too. She only cried a minute and had a slight fever the next day. A little more needy but that's it. =)

Nap time!

I have managed to get Miss Iz on a sleep schedule: She gets a bath between 8:30-9:30, feed, a little story, and then she goes to bed and wakes up between 6:30-7:30. Awesome, right? Especially for a two month old!

I have managed to get her on a feeding schedule: She eats approximately every 3 hours, sometimes she goes a little longer, sometimes a little shorter. I am a big believer in feeding on demand, this loose schedule was more for my sanity than anything. The constant feeding was driving me crazy and there were many a time I wanted to give up on breastfeeding altogether. This schedule gave me some structure and predictability to my day, as well as the ability to determine when she was really hungry and not just fussy.

But one thing I have not managed to do is get her on a nap schedule!

Sometimes she wakes up in the morning and talks and "plays" with me for hours. Sometimes she immediately wants to go back to sleep. I can't predict it and I can't figure out how to plan around it. Therefore, I've just been letting her nap at her leisure. But of course, sometimes she gets overwhelmed and exhausted. =(

At first I was just going to put her down after her second feeding, at nine, and then again at three. But since she's been going back to sleep after the first feeding, that kind of threw that plan out the window. =)

Today she had two naps, but at completely arbitrary times. Tomorrow I'll try again for a schedule. But maybe I'll just let Princess Iz sleep whenever she wants and run errands after she wakes up. =P

The Beginning

Two months and three days ago my life changed forever when my daughter entered the world in nine pounds, three ounces of screaming, beautiful perfection.

I spent months preparing for her - painting her nursery, setting up her furniture, purchasing outrageous quantities of diapers, washing tons of tiny dresses and socks, and imaging how much I would get done after I quit my job.

Well, most of the preparations paid off, but I could not anticipate just how much of my time such a little creature would take up! Many people tried to warn me, but in my naive over-confidence I didn't believe them. You would think at some point it would have occurred to me that many people pay good money for someone to watch their children for nine hours and that if it was sooo easy to take care of a baby we'd just bring them to work!

But in an effort to keep myself motivated and sane, I decided to start this blog. I will share the trials and tribulations of being a stay at home mom; my crafts and photography; book, movie, and TV show reviews (assuming I ever have time to read again!); my house remodeling projects; and anything else that's on my mind. =)