Standing Together

Photo by Luminage Photography

I believe one of the most valuable things you can do as a wife is stand with your husband.

Of course, this is a two way street and your needs and wants have to be listened to and addressed as well, but I am a wife with a respectful husband and this is my view.

Honestly I believe that one of the main reasons marriages struggle and dissolve so frequently in this age is because people are always given what they want or are expected and encouraged to go get it. Not that ambition is a bad thing, but it can lead to selfishness which in turn can effectively cripple a relationship.

I have been with my husband now for nearly six years. I have decided a long time ago what direction I wanted my life to go in and whether he would be able to help me achieve that or not. I discussed it with him, let him know my aspirations, so that he could decide if he could support them too. But I also listened to his dreams, his life goals, and decided what I would be willing to sacrifice to support him.

Of course your ideas change over time. We feel very differently about some things than we did six years ago, obviously. But part of my commitment to him when we got married was to be able to change with him and rework my wants for the good of our family.

Recently I have been challenged by external sources to go against my husband's wishes in a few different ways. I find it very disturbing that people would try to persuade me to do something which would upset him - especially after I voiced his concerns. How can you expect to have a respectful husband if you don't show him respect?

I am feeling a little lost right now and just wishing I had more sympathy or support for doing what's right for my marriage and not what is right for someone else's selfishness. I know the phrase isn't "selfishness loves company" but sometimes its true - it is tempting for selfish people to want you to act selfishly to justify a feeling they know isn't right.