A Promise to my Daughter

(And any future daughter-in-laws or stepdaughters I may have.)

One day of course I imagine I’m going to have the opportunity to be a grandparent. But I’m not going to harass you about it. If you don’t want kids, okay, for a long time I didn’t. If you struggle to conceive, okay, I did too. If you adopt, okay, I would love to adopt one day. I will support you whatever you decide.

But that’s neither here nor there. Most importantly, no matter how excited I am, I will let you dictate the terms of my involvement. If you don’t want me at the hospital for l&d, that’s okay, I’ll suck it up and stay away. If (god forbid) you want me in there with you, I’ll suck it up and stay by your side. If you need me to plan a shower, buy a car seat, lend a shoulder to cry on, fly in from out of town, bring you dinner for a month, or just support your medication decisions, I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Even if that means doing nothing and giving you your space.

Pregnancy is messy. It’s hard. It’s disgusting. It rips away your self confidence and fills your heart with wonder. The things I wanted and needed during my pregnancy may not be the things you need. I can offer advice but I can’t tell you what you want. That, you have to tell me. And I promise to listen, no matter what you may think I want, because the thing I want most is for you to be happy.