Friday, January 18, 2013


Dreams always make me think of Dali.

Recently, I have been having some pretty bizarre dreams. I'm not the kind of person that buys into dreams as premonitions, but I do think things that weigh heavily on you can leak into your dreams from your subconscious. That said, I have NO idea what these dreams were trying to say, although maybe they indicate some kind of deep seated guilt over being a stay at home mom? It's like all the most important people in my life are trying to force me into an intervention...!

The first dream was about two weeks ago. In this dream my mum calls me up and when I answer the phone she says, "GREAT NEWS! You can come live with me!" I do a double take. What is she talking about, live with her? I ask her and she reiterates, "You and Iz can live with me."

Then I realize she wants me to leave my husband to live with her and that she's got a job interview lined up for me (because obviously she makes me leave my husband and then forces me to get a job since I can't support us then.) I argue with her and tell her I'm not leaving my husband and that he is a good dad and that he tries really hard and that I didn't care about what she thought. It was horrible. She wouldn't stop railroading me and forcing her ideas on me so I started to think about moving and never letting her see Iz again. ='( Luckily I woke up from that one (about two 'dreams hours' into our fight.)

But yesterday I had another horrible dream of a similar nature. My sister sent me an e-mail chewing me out and telling me that "I really need to get over myself and go back to work" because we "couldn't afford for me to be a stay at home mom" and "I was just being selfish." It was so out of left field and horrifying I didn't know what to think of it. Mostly because she has no idea our combined household income and whether we could afford it or not and because she's just not that confrontational. At least not about something like that. She might tell me she thought I was making a mistake, but she would never ream me like that. =( Quite upsetting!

I am interested to see if I have another dream where someone else is forcing their opinions on me, though I don't know who it would be.

Ugh, dreams...! I rarely dream, and when I do, they're rarely so unsettling. Hoping for a dreamless night tonight!

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